.Friday, May 19, 2006 ' 1:27 PM Y
Hate myself man... Yesterday, when we having remix practise, i keep forgetting steps siaz... Then i think i make zac pek check siaz... soo sorry... i hate myself for soo weak, hate myself for so absent-minded,hate myself for not being a mature and serious person, hate myself not for being a responsible person, hate myself for not having any achievement in life... I hate e way i hate myself, hate e way i blame myself... I can't see my future, maybe i have no future, nth... Nth proud that i can tell my children... Maybe i just dun like to work hard, or maybe i just doesn't work hard enff... *depressed*
Yeah... i need a hug, a big big hug... i seriously need one... need a hug to get my sense of security... feeling quite empty inside, not bcoz of hungry ok... haha... Mmm... went for e attachment job interview just now, they say that i need to dress to look more mature... N they said that english is very important in finding job... Fine, so i'll be a chinese teacher next time... yeah... here's e problem, i need to get mature clothes soo for work... haiz... waste of money again... or get someone donate mi their unwanted clothes which looks mature... n I mean MATURE, not old or auntie... Feeling hopeless now... I really wish next time my husband can earn alot of money so i can stay at home n be a happy n carefree housewife... haha... But it's very difficult esp in a money society like singapore... Unless my husband family very rich, maybe he invent some program or whatever that makes him very rich or he super lucky, strike lottery... haha... Dotz... i'm thinking too much man... planning to hire billy n help mi take new pic for my blog skin... haha... cool... I NEED A HUG... can i dun grow up?? i hate to face all e stress n problem... haiz... i noe it's possible, unless i kana e disease that e gal in YOU ARE HERE suffer from which make her brain shrink every 2 weeks n behave like a small kid... lolz... mmm... i think if like that, i rather die or grow up n face reality... dotz... e most become crazy only ma... haha... lolz... long post today, shall end now... *smile*
Hate myself man... Yesterday, when we having remix practise, i keep forgetting steps siaz... Then i think i make zac pek check siaz... soo sorry... i hate myself for soo weak, hate myself for so absent-minded,hate myself for not being a mature and serious person, hate myself not for being a responsible person, hate myself for not having any achievement in life... I hate e way i hate myself, hate e way i blame myself... I can't see my future, maybe i have no future, nth... Nth proud that i can tell my children... Maybe i just dun like to work hard, or maybe i just doesn't work hard enff... *depressed*
Yeah... i need a hug, a big big hug... i seriously need one... need a hug to get my sense of security... feeling quite empty inside, not bcoz of hungry ok... haha... Mmm... went for e attachment job interview just now, they say that i need to dress to look more mature... N they said that english is very important in finding job... Fine, so i'll be a chinese teacher next time... yeah... here's e problem, i need to get mature clothes soo for work... haiz... waste of money again... or get someone donate mi their unwanted clothes which looks mature... n I mean MATURE, not old or auntie... Feeling hopeless now... I really wish next time my husband can earn alot of money so i can stay at home n be a happy n carefree housewife... haha... But it's very difficult esp in a money society like singapore... Unless my husband family very rich, maybe he invent some program or whatever that makes him very rich or he super lucky, strike lottery... haha... Dotz... i'm thinking too much man... planning to hire billy n help mi take new pic for my blog skin... haha... cool... I NEED A HUG... can i dun grow up?? i hate to face all e stress n problem... haiz... i noe it's possible, unless i kana e disease that e gal in YOU ARE HERE suffer from which make her brain shrink every 2 weeks n behave like a small kid... lolz... mmm... i think if like that, i rather die or grow up n face reality... dotz... e most become crazy only ma... haha... lolz... long post today, shall end now... *smile*